I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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