Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
