My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
