I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
