you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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