Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
