none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I didn't notice because vodka
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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