I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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