Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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