So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
