I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
