We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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