You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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