I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
