we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
