I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
