...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
try to milk me bitch
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
