We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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