Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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