i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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