problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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