There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
