That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Randomize
