I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
