I bet he comes in French.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have fence marks all over my body
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
