So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's never too late to be topless.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
