I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
