At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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