I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
