I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
