Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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