i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
