My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
