the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
