Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
