real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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