Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
