I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
