Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
