The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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