he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
