her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
