I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
