I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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