i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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