White coat. Heels.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
