Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
