FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
