I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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