capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
