I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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