just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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