So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
