She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
