that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
